I Need Love

September 2020

Weaning my need to turn fear into answers.

Feelings of worry consume my existence.

Would answers take away my pain?

Trapped, trying to manifest kind ways to heal my shattered heart.

Feelings won’t go away because there are too many watery tears.

The wasted time takes the life out of my day.

I want to turn the corner and try to water the flowers in my garden.

My love is too strong and kind to waste away.

Flowers need love.

I need love.

Time to love the harmful memories away.

The Assessment

November 9, 2022

Papers folded, trained to behave, are scattered on the childlike table.

Parents lost, faces grayed, await the doctor’s arrival.

Crayons oppressed by their love of theatre,

Move pointedly down the wall.

Toys are mocked for being there.

They shouldn’t be there at all.

Chairs prepare themselves for bodies too small to matter.

Chairs prepare themselves to work.

The room is all set.

But my life is not.

Falling Stars

November 4, 2022

Under the watchful mountains at dusk,

Bright stars watch the clouds quietly fornicate

Amongst the sultry coloured sky.

The stars, mourning their lonely place in time,

Move into darkness,

Painting the blackened sky with tears of gold.

My Journey to Communication: A Call for Change in Schools for Nonspeakers

This blog post was written by my friend, Ben Crimm. We are advocates with Spellers and Allies at https://i-asc.org/spellers-allies/ You can visit his blog at https://aquestforwords.wordpress.com/

ncrimm's avatarA Quest for Words

I am overjoyed that I have my voice. That I can tell you what I want for breakfast. That I can share my knowledge and opinions. That I can make plans and bring fun to others. That I can tell those close to me that I love them.

I was not always this lucky.

For 25 years I could not communicate any of these things. I have never been able to speak to communicate. I tried really hard but was never successful in doing so despite many years of speech therapy. I also tried a primitive PECS system a long time ago, like when I was about 7 years old. I loved flipping the laminated cards and was able to make a few sentences 4 or 5 words long. My Dad worked with me on our first computer when I was about 8 years old. Learning to keyboard was really…

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Meet my good friend, Josh Wong.

Josh is also a nonspeaking autistic, like me. He has learned to spell to communicate by using the RPM method. He has inspired me through his attitude of being always positive. Please read his wonderful words.

Matthew

Lean In – Written by Josh Wong
Autism is a hell of a thing. I should know, I have lived with it for nineteen years. It’s not easy sometimes to accept myself, let alone have others accept me. But autism is my gift, a gift that allows me to navigate the world in a unique way. People don’t have to be afraid of the unsure or unusual. Lean in to me, there is a whole world I can show you. Acceptance will guide the way.

AUTISTIC HEALTH – Written by Josh Wong
When many think of autism, they think of the brain. Often overlooked and misunderstood is the body. My brain and body don’t really connect well. I want my body to do lots of things but it rarely cooperates–that is very frustrating. It’s not just this disconnection that is misunderstood but also other health concerns. For most of my life, I haven’t been able to communicate my body’s aches, pains, or cramps. Thankfully my mom is very intuitive and managed my health well. I am one of the lucky ones. Most autistic health problems go untreated and undiagnosed. My hope is that we can make systemic changes to the health system to promote better care for people with disabilities. This must also accompany the presumption of competence and the acceptance of alternative communication. Together we can be the change.